Fixing the Republican Message Machine

No, I am not talking about the Republican answering machine that repeats the same tired message over and over and over. Well... maybe I am.

Republicans are always talking process, Democrats are always talking about how great things will be.

Which goes over better: "No, you can't have a candy bar and besides, it is right before dinner and you are already too fat"? Or this: "Sure, you can have another Snickers. We are having kale for dinner, and since you won't eat kale, the candy won't spoil your dinner"?

The face of the right is Newt Gingrich, John Boehner, Eric Cantor and Paul Ryan (pushing Granny over the cliff.) The impressionable 'yoots' of America see Ann Coulter as a caricature of herself and Sarah Palin has been rendered a into holographic cartoon character. Is anyone on our side even the least bit cool? Even the highly respected Clint Eastwood was reduced to wacky curmudgeon status after a one stand-up bit at the Republican National Convention in August.

In order to fix this pathetic situation two things have to happen.

First, the smart Republicans (yes, they exist) need to meet in an undisclosed location and draft an agenda. We need a balanced approach (there, I said it) that includes little or no social issues. We need a ten year plan to bring this nation back to solvency and to unleash the pent up technological and energy breakthroughs that await us. Once this is drafted and approved by a credible majority of the Republican leadership and with the committed backing of our politicians, we move to the second step.

The second step involves finding people to get the message out. I envision a "I'm a Mac. I'm a PC" sort of dialog where the cool, confident guy with his hands in his pockets is the Conservative and the goofy looking slacker is the Liberal. These one or two minute YouTube videos which would get shown on TV a few times just to get media recognition, would explain in simple terms what the issue is.

Instead of Michele Bachmann being the female face of conservatism, let's get someone like Stacey Dash to do videos and interact with people who are too busy or too disinterested to dig into politics. Find a cute 20-something young woman to advocate for common sense solutions. Maybe someone like Allison Williams, the star of HBO's Girls, who speaks with that nasally voice that is so common with the Millinnials. We need real people, not Stepford wives.

Enough with the pundits. We don't need opinion makers, we need tastemakers. Young men and women that can get the message and the agenda out, explaining it in a non-threatening way and breaking the grip that the Media-Educational Complex has on our future leaders.

Next, a new network/YouTube channel/entertainment app would be created that funnels this information to the masses. Have short programs that mimic the Daily Show but with a right of center theme. Irreverent and non-preachy, but still focused toward the agenda. Another series could debunk left wing myths, like flaming water faucets, or how conservatives hate old people. If conservative creatives and talent had a place to go besides Fox News, I think we would find some very clever programming ideas and some break-out talent.

I don't think we need to be agenda driven, but we need to be agenda guided. Without a destination, we humans would all just be wandering. The left has their goals and aspirations, and by and large they have the popular media to get the message out for them. The right needs a similar modus operandi. I also believe that we need a new name. Conservative is too stodgy and sounds like we are stuck in the past. I think it is time that we take back the word progressive.

By capturing the word progressive, even waging a battle of words and wit to win it back, would prove that the right is progressive. Progressing toward a brighter future with equal opportunity for success for ALL, not just the privileged and anointed few. It is time to get out in front of the Democrats while they are savoring their "cliff" victory and prove that we are the people of big ideas and we are not just the Party of NO.


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